HEMA (originally an acronym for Hollandse Eenheidsprijzen Maatschappij Amsterdam, translated meaning Dutch Standard Prices Company Amsterdam) is a Dutch department store chain. They are the Target of Holland.
THEY HAVE THE BEST WEBSITE, EVER!
Rube Goldberg, anyone?
Not that anyone reads it, but I will be posting s’more soon. also expect a new look. waiting to see what the runways look like for spring, first. (obviously I am kidding)
I am such a freak, I had to walk over to another building, I stepped on an acorn with wedge shoes on and fell. I scraped my favorite pants, my knee is bleeding and my hands are all scuffed up!
You all know how horrible the coffee is at work, right? It is very bland, bitter and tastes like licking a dry river rock. Well place a packet of swiss-miss hot chocolate in your favorite mug (I use the sugar-free) and fill the horrible swill to the top. Voilà! You have a “designer” drink with stuff you have laying around the break room! It doesn’t taste half bad as the sum of its parts. Now go and enjoy your Mocha Americano. You can even steal some star-bucks cups and start charging their prices (“Oh, yeah Toby, I’ll do a Starbucks run.”) Make this concoction up and give it to him. The lame ass won’t know the difference. Keep some Redi-whip in your desk drawer, and you are in business. Pocket the extra cash and use it to fund your real Starbucks dependency.
I got a job in Research Triangle Park, NC. I start the 24th of September.
OMFG, Check out this 1985 promo about Pittsburgh being the #1 city in America. Hilarious.
My favorite Weird Al parody… All done in palindromes.
Now the real thing with Dylan and an Allen Ginsberg cameo…
They [READ gas-guzzling private jet-flying hypocrites] are adding another live earth concert! Well yippie-mutha-fuckin’-skippy. Shove it up your ass Al Gore, you goddamn crotch zombie.
*lights a pallet load of Styrofoam containers on fire*
BTW, when I am less pissed, I’ll try to articulate myself better. For now, though, I am going to leave it be and lower my blood pressure. Will revisit at a later time.
The king is gone, but not forgotten, big b-day props goes out to the guitar god Link Wray! Hope you’re rumbling wherever your current dimension lies!
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